One of the reasons we live is to be our own master, is to control our lives, is to take charge of our lives. Taking control of our lives does not come easy in a society where everybody wants a piece of you. Everyone wants something from you. The question is: “Can you please everyone?”
“If you want to imitate anyone, imitate yourself.”
No, you can’t. That is if you are really honest with yourself. You cannot please everyone. If you try to do it, you will never have time for yourself. It is okay to listen to people, but don’t try to please everyone. If you do, you will fail.
“You deserve a better life. You deserve to live your life in your own way. You deserve to have a healthy life. But if you put everyone’s interests before yours, you will find it difficult to live a good life.”
In the words of Marva Collins, “Trust yourself, think for yourself, act for yourself, speak for yourself, be yourself, imitation is suicide.” He is absolutely right. If you want to live your life in your own way, you MUST trust yourself. You must think for yourself. You must act for yourself. You must speak for yourself. You must be yourself. You MUST NEVER IMITATE ANYONE. If you want to imitate anyone, imitate yourself.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”- Ernest Hemingway
When someone is talking to you, listen to the person. He or she has something important to share with you. It could be the breakthrough that you have been waiting for. Don’t ignore or pretend to be listening when people are sharing something with you. If you listen, you will learn a lot about yourself and the person talking. If you don’t listen, you are telling the person that you are not interested in what he or she is saying. You know everything. He or she is not relevant to you. You don’t need help. You do.
What are people telling you to do? Who are your advisers? Are they making sense? If not, why are they still advising you?
In order to make it in life, you need good advice
from other people- your friends, teachers, relatives, or your spouse. But what
are they telling you? Is what they are telling you helping or hurting you?
If you want to grow, to succeed, you need to listen to great people, you need to learn from great people, especially if they have done what you are about to get into. Their experiences will lead you a long way. Great people will not only talk to you on how to succeed, they will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. They know that what you need to hear is what you need to succeed, to grow, to learn, and to become a better person. They will tell you what you need to hear because they know you need good information to make the right decisions, to keep you in check when it comes to making hard calls, going through difficult times, or doing difficult things.
You need great people in your life, not fake people. Great people are more than your mentors, they are your protectors. They don’t hide behind anything. They will tell you what they see in you that are not promising. They will point out your strengths and weaknesses, and they will tell you honestly while they are your strengths or why they are your weaknesses. And they will tell you how you can make them better.
“Great people are more than your mentors, they are your protectors.”
Fake people, fake friends, fake relatives will
tell you everything that you want to hear. They are the first to tell you that
everything is fine, no mistakes. You are perfect! They are the first to
criticize you behind your back. If you want to grow, you don’t need these people
in your life. They are terrible. They will destroy your dreams by not telling
you what they saw. They will keep it to themselves because they want you to
fail. You don’t need these kinds of people. They are fake people.
Be around people who are honest, not fakers. Be
around people who honestly want you to grow, who celebrate you, who see
potential in you, and who push you to be your best self. If you find one or
two, you will enjoy your journey to success. If you can’t find great people to
be with, don’t waste your time looking for one. You can become one to someone,
and that person, if you are lucky, will be the encourager you have been waiting
for. If you want to be something special, you first be that thing to someone.
You will get it in return.
What you need to hear is not always fun to hear.
It is uncomfortable. It is painful when something terrible about you is out in
the open. But if you want to grow, you must develop the courage to listen to
what you need to hear.
Sometimes people want to tell us what we actually need to hear, but we don’t want to hear it. We don’t like what it will bring out about us- weaknesses, cover-ups, insecurity, or low self-esteem. If you really want to grow, if you really want to be successful, find a way to ask for what you need to hear. If not, you are going to be your own mentor. If you have the courage to ask for it, to listen to it, to take and use it, you will experience a great change in your life.
People tell you what you want to hear because they want to keep the relationship going. If you want people to tell you what you really need to hear, make them comfortable to do it. Signal to them that you are ready to receive the feedback you are about to get. Signal to them that you are ready to grow, and that you will use it to improve your life. When people are comfortable with you, they will reveal a lot to you. It is your responsibility to create the room for the conversation to happen. People want to talk to us, but they don’t know how to do it. Help them, and they will help you in return.