7 Ways To Protect Yourself From Toxic People

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Why are people toxic? Are they really toxic? What can we do about it?

A toxic person is someone with a poisonous behavior. The way a toxic person behaves is not compatible with others. According to Dr Travis, Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.”

In addition to Dr Travis’s definition of toxic people, Mark Twain said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.” Hans F. Hansan adds: People inspire or they drain you – pick them wisely.”

When you find out that your friend is acting out, don’t jump to conclusion. Why? Because they are human beings with feelings. They may be going through something personal and they don’t want to tell anyone. As a result, they will always be aggressive. I am not defending their terrible behavior. I am just saying that it is important to understand the reason behind something before we become the judge. We are good at judging others, because we are so perfect. No, you are not! Your behavior suck, too!

“Toxic people drive you crazy because their behaviour is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behaviour truly goes against reason, why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and sucked into the mix?”- Dr. Travis Bradberry, in Leaderonomics.com

If you want to enjoy your life, your work, here are some strategies to cope with toxic people:

Control your mind. When you work or live with a toxic person (a person with a terrible behavior), protect your mind from negative emotions. This is important because a negative person does not spread positive news, they spread only negative news.

Connect with people who encourage you to be yourself. We all need good people in our lives. The people that accept us for who we are, not who we pretend to be. People that will encourage us to do our best, to be our best.

Connect with people who spread positive news. The food for your soul is positive thoughts, not negative thoughts. You need positive thoughts to help you go through challenging times. No matter what, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, always try to be a positive person. I know it is hard to do, but it is doable.

Understand their reasons. This is important because if you know what is happening to your coworker, you won’t take anything personal. It is sometimes not about you, but about them. Learn to understand the “why” before you take them to court.

Know yourself. If you know yourself, if you know your values, you will know how to respond. Lao Tzu said, Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”

Stay on your purpose. If you are busy doing or pursuing your purpose in life, you have no time to engage yourself with small-minded people. According to the author of this quote,It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.”

Maintain a positive mindset. We can’t avoid working with negative people. If you do work with one or two, always be positive. Don’t play their games. Don’t reduce yourself to their level. That is what they want you to do. Don’t do it!

Putting it Together:

People with negative attitudes are everywhere. How you deal with them will make the difference. Be positive.

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5 Ways To Limit Your Talent

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“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”- Dr Joyce Brothers, psychologist

Most people think they don’t have what it takes to succeed. They think they need special talents, special skills, or special capabilities to succeed. I have good news for you: “You have what it takes to succeed already.” Your responsibility is to awaken the “sleeping talents” in you. You have all that you need to succeed. Nobody is going to do this for you. It is you, who can change your life.I can’t do it for you. You can do it for yourself. You are the driver of your life.

Let’s see how you are limiting your talents:

Negative Self-Image

When you see yourself as not good enough, as not beautiful enough, as not intelligent enough, you are reducing the talents that you have in you. You are reducing yourself. Instead, you should say something like, “I am worthy.” Stop diminishing yourself. Stop reducing your talent. Let’s look at what these two experts said about “Self-Image”:

“Our self-image, strongly held, essentially determines what we become.”- Dr. Maxwell Maltz, MD.

“A strong positive self-image is the best preparation for success.”- Dr. Joyce Brothers, psychologist

Negative Attitude.

Negative attitude drives positive things away from you. When people know that you are not a positive person, that your attitude is negative, they won’t want to do anything with you. You can change this by thinking positively about things. 

When people see problems, you see solutions

When they see obstacles, you see  learning opportunities

When they see fear, you see courage

When they think failure, you think success

When they see pride, you see humility

When they see negative, you see positive

You Focus on Your Limitations

When you focus on your limitations, you are reducing your talents. You will succeed in life if you focus on what you can do, not what you cannot do. Don’t focus on your limitations. Focus on your talent. Focus on your strengths. Your limitations can’t move you forward, only your strengths can lift you up. Only your strengths can change your situations. 

You Don’t Remember Your Talent

Don’t forget your talent. It is you. It is your key to success in life. Focus on your talent, develop your talent, and put it to use. When you do this, nothing can stop you from not doing well in life- except you stop yourself.

You Blame Others For Your Problems.

Blaming others when something bad happened to you allows you to shift the blame to another person. It allows you to shift away your responsibilities. Blaming others prevent you from learning from your mess. If you own it, you will learn from your mistakes. But, if you don’t own it, you cannot learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes will give you  different ways of looking at things.

Focus on what people can do, not what they cannot do.

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”—- Confucius

There is one unique quality that separates us. That unique quality is what we should focus on in people. We should focus on people’s strengths, not their weaknesses.

For recruiters, when hiring for a new position, don’t waste your time, focus on the candidate’s strengths, not on his or her weaknesses.

We shouldn’t focus on what people cannot do, we should focus on what they can do. It is what they can do that will help your business, not what they cannot do.

The world is a beautiful world. People are beautiful. But people choose to focus on the negative things that are happening around us. Focus on the positive things, so that positive energy will move toward you.

A positive person will attracts positive things. A negative person will attracts negative things. You can change your negative thoughts or feelings into positive thoughts.

Positive things attract positive things

Negative things attract negative things

Find the good things in people, and maintain them.

Find the good things in yourself, and celebrate them

It is important to focus on what people can do, because the world is full of people that are ready to steal their dreams away. They tell them what they cannot do; they are not interested in what they can do. They focus on their weaknesses instead of their strengths.

Focus on what people can do, not what they cannot do.

People do well at what they love

People do well at what they love. They put everything into the job they love to do. When people love what they do, it seems they are not doing anything. Because they spend their time and energy in productive ways.

When you do what you love, it becomes part of your life- it is no longer a job, but something meaningful to you. Something that gives you joy. Something that is your calling. Something that gives you happiness. Something that gives you a sense of purpose.

When you do well at work, “the pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”– Aristotle

When people do what they love, here is what it looks like:

  • They prosper faster than they could have imagined
  • They are enthusiastic about their jobs
  • They love going to work
  • They grow personally and professionally
  • They form better social connections at work

But if you don’t love what you are doing, the psychological, social, and economic costs are big. It affects your overall health and well-being.

How to enjoy your work.

  • Learn more about your job
  • Find something interesting about your job, and focus on it
  • Don’t think negatively about your job
  • Don’t say bad things about your colleagues
  • Don’t say bad things about your boss, manager, supervisor.
  • Find a mentor in your workplace
  • Speak to people that are doing the same job, so you can learn from them.
  • Approach all  assignments with an open-mind.