Why are people toxic? Are they really toxic? What can we do about it?
A toxic person is someone with a poisonous behavior. The way a toxic person behaves is not compatible with others. According to Dr Travis, “Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.”
In addition to Dr Travis’s definition of toxic people, Mark Twain said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.” Hans F. Hansan adds: “People inspire or they drain you – pick them wisely.”
When you find out that your friend is acting out, don’t jump to conclusion. Why? Because they are human beings with feelings. They may be going through something personal and they don’t want to tell anyone. As a result, they will always be aggressive. I am not defending their terrible behavior. I am just saying that it is important to understand the reason behind something before we become the judge. We are good at judging others, because we are so perfect. No, you are not! Your behavior suck, too!
“Toxic people drive you crazy because their behaviour is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behaviour truly goes against reason, why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and sucked into the mix?”- Dr. Travis Bradberry, in Leaderonomics.com
If you want to enjoy your life, your work, here are some strategies to cope with toxic people:
Control your mind. When you work or live with a toxic person (a person with a terrible behavior), protect your mind from negative emotions. This is important because a negative person does not spread positive news, they spread only negative news.
Connect with people who encourage you to be yourself. We all need good people in our lives. The people that accept us for who we are, not who we pretend to be. People that will encourage us to do our best, to be our best.
Connect with people who spread positive news. The food for your soul is positive thoughts, not negative thoughts. You need positive thoughts to help you go through challenging times. No matter what, no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, always try to be a positive person. I know it is hard to do, but it is doable.
Understand their reasons. This is important because if you know what is happening to your coworker, you won’t take anything personal. It is sometimes not about you, but about them. Learn to understand the “why” before you take them to court.
Know yourself. If you know yourself, if you know your values, you will know how to respond. Lao Tzu said, “Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.”
Stay on your purpose. If you are busy doing or pursuing your purpose in life, you have no time to engage yourself with small-minded people. According to the author of this quote, “It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.”
Maintain a positive mindset. We can’t avoid working with negative people. If you do work with one or two, always be positive. Don’t play their games. Don’t reduce yourself to their level. That is what they want you to do. Don’t do it!
Putting it Together:
People with negative attitudes are everywhere. How you deal with them will make the difference. Be positive.