The Power of Listening Well

When we listen well, we are communicating. It is very important to listen well. If we learn how to listen well, it has the power to change how we view the world. It can change our lives, too.

Why is it so important to listen well?

  • It determines how well we will communicate with others
  • When we listen well, we are growing
  • When we listen well, we are learning from others.
  • When we listen well, we earn trust and respect from our colleagues.
  • When we listen well, we attract new friends.
  • When we listen well, we will attract new business opportunities
  • When we listen well, we act on facts not assumptions.
  • Listening well strengthens our relationships.
  • For students, when you listen well, your performances will be better.

Since listening is part of who we are as human beings, the CRITICAL question is:

Why are people not listening well?

To answer this critical question, according to Dr. M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his amazing book, The Road Less Traveled, He said, “Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work. It is because they do not realize this or because they are not willing to do the work that most people do not listen well.”

When you read and digest this quote, you will see why people don’t care to listen to anyone, but themselves. They don’t listen, according to Dr. Scott’s quote, because:

  •  It is an exercise of attention
  • It is hard to listen well
  • They underestimate what it takes to listen well
  • They are not willing to do the hard work involved in listening well

TAKEAWAY:

Listen well! If you don’t listen well, you are not communicating, you are not growing, and you are not learning.

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4 Reasons That Prevent People From Expressing Their Feelings

As human beings, being in connection with our feelings is important for our survival and for our personal and social growth. The importance of freely expressing our feelings cannot be ignored.

What happens when we HIDE our TRUE feelings?

  • We behave in a weird way
  • We are lying to ourselves
  • We become unpredictable
  • We are hurting ourselves
  • We are hurting our health

Here are some of the reasons why people hide their TRUE feelings:

They want to be perfect:

People hide their TRUE feelings because they are scared of what others will say about them, or about their opinions. They are afraid to show who they REALLY are. They don’t show any emotions because they believe they shouldn’t show anger or other negative emotions.

Regardless of what people may say about you, they are not the owner of your life-YOU ARE. When it comes to expressing how you REALLY feel, don’t hide it. Show your emotions- positive or negative. Don’t worry about what people might say about your emotions. Sometimes they won’t even say anything. Even if they do, it is their properties, not YOURS. Why is it important to show who YOU really are? Because nobody is perfect. Be vulnerable. Show your weakness. By showing weakness, people will respect you even more. People understand that it is not easy to be vulnerable.

They don’t want to offend people:

If you don’t want to offend people, you are offending yourself. Which one would you choose? If you have problem with people, deal with it, don’t run away. When you run away from your problem, makes it worse. If you have problems, fix them.

Fear of People’s Opinions:

Before we even open our mouth or react to anything that is thrown at us, the first internal question is:  “What would people say about me?” This question will cripple every thing that we plan to say or do. Don’t start with this question, it is not good. When you feel in your head that people will not welcome your idea or comment, you are not helping yourself, you are hurting yourself. Don’t let people’s opinions control your destiny. You are the driver of your life, drive it well. You are responsible for your actions. So, people’s opinions shouldn’t be the controller of your life. What really count is what YOU think about yourself.

They have low self-esteem:

People with low self-esteem have problem communicating socially or publicly with people. They are afraid to express how they REALLY and TRULY feel. They want others to be happy, even when they are hurting. you can change that by doing the following:

  • First, make yourself happy. Don’t ignore those that are in critical need of help, please!
  • With dignity, express how you TRULY feel about the person or the situation
  • Ask for what you really want from people. Don’t go home blaming yourself.

TAKEAWAY:

Don’t let people dictate how you act. You are the owner of your life. You are the TRUE driver of your life, don’t give the key to anyone.